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View Profile whatusernamedood
^ It's a heartwave *__* Audiofag. The LoopMaster. Still a nobody!

Age 30

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Joined on 7/19/15

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whatusernamedood's News

Posted by whatusernamedood - October 6th, 2015



Posted by whatusernamedood - September 17th, 2015


When you're feeling lost, retrace your steps, come back to where you came from, remind yourself of why did you take the journey in the first place.
I love music so I do music. At first I played it, but it's a pretty narrow perspective.
To have a better overview, you need to change the seats from "performer" to "listener".
So I started recording stuff with my guitar directly through an amp and I liked it very much. I adored it, began hating all the "other music" and thought, arrogantly, "I'm gonna make my own stuff because everything else sucks".
Then a pretty punch to the face came. It was called "technical stuff". So, there is constant noise because fuck you, Tesla; EQ, volume, panning and a shitload of DAWs and plug-ins...I often get lost in research but that's not the point.
I need to make music. That's all. (probably not gonna do shieeeeeeeeet)
But why? hee hee hee.

Why are drummers so rare, I have no idea. Everyone and his mother can "sing"; and "play" guitar. Eh, I hoped it would be fun, y'know, a band of retards playing a wide variety of crappy music just for shits and giggles.

They say the first step is "acceptance". I know I have a problem. That's step one. But I'm not so keen on solving it or doing anything about it. I think that just knowing it's there is enough. I'm proud of my step one achievement and it's not gonna change until I actually know about how should I continue.


Posted by whatusernamedood - September 7th, 2015


I'm working on a song. Got some chords and text down. This will be my first attempt at songwriting and vocal recording. I hope it will turn out okay.

I've got some (raw)s here. Maybe I'll finish them too.
But this song is the new, flashy one so I'll get on with it first.

Bad, bad insomnia. And "career" stuff is ... confusing. Thank the gods I don't have a social life, that would be just too much.


Posted by whatusernamedood - August 18th, 2015


We're all just stardust on a giant rock, floating in vacuum 'cause of some invisible force and we're revolving around a ball of burning hydrogen.
I sometimes look up at the stars and admire them. I'm just a piece of that...mere dust. What if I were whole?
Why the fuck are we here? Wait. Why the fuck am I here?

What's the point? The path (and not the goal) of finding the point? Distractions from the inevitable oblivion?
Some random people issued daycare? Done with that. It's supposed to bring me loads of dead, cooked, bleached trees so I can afford objects made of earthdust.
Some random people issued work? Like, just be here and waste your time and your nerves for electrons on a piece of dead dinosaur with a magnetic strip.
Other stardustlings? Other than procreating, is there another motive to waste your time on them? And time is oh so precious, yes?

Hi, galaxy! This is me, trying to be significant! How can you ever be significant? Is there a better life?
Better cards to be pulled? Did I lose my chance already? Are the doors to that multiverse already closed?
Can I just quit and reload from the last checkpoint? Maybe there's a walkthrough online somewhere too!

Can't help but to compare myself to the others. Do others ask these kinds of questions? I'm just a hunk of meat with a bag of chemicals inside, is there a cure? A chemical to "fix" me?

Isn't there something greater? We're all just walking, talking too-late-for-abortions (yes, planned parenthood is a lie, people have sex just because). Shouldn't there be something more? I dunno what. Something?

Like if you won the lottery and if you could get a genie with infinite wishes, what would you do? If there was a god mode?
I would probably just try to quit and reload. Maybe I could do it all better that time.
But again, there are so many people and places and books and experiences and whatevers you can consume before you run out of distractions.
I guess you can't drink life straight. It's fucking bland.

When I turned 18, I thought something magical would happen. Nope. Adulthood is a lie. You just grow bigger and look grown-up and get to do legal stuff. Woo.
And what do you do with your kids? You're still a grown kid. And everything you know is nothing. Is there anything to pass on?

Are we just like rats?
Like, if you put one in a maze and train it to find a way out, that knowledge won't be passed on onto the ratlings, so a rat will always remain a rat, it won't "evolve".
No, we are the great stardustlings! We have books and manuals. Progress! So much has changed, eh. All these new toys and we're still asking the same questions - "Why the fuck are we here?" and "Why the fuck am I obligated to live somehow?". Ask Socrates. Read anyone's thoughts in form of books or just ask. They're all the same. We haven't changed a bit. The technology and culture did.

Oh, yes, please, answer me.

This is just a black hole of regret over nothing. Because I have no idea what my life should've been like to compare it to in the first place. And, also, no idea of what it should be like.

I hate RPG games. They remind of life a little too much. So many stuff to explore, so many skill points and classes to fuck up, hoarding random items, wrong quest choices... Pure comedy.

What is life, anyway? A sequence of blurred memories? The present? The imagined future?
I would like some happy memories. Just something, anything. Everything I remember is pure regret.
And I would like a future worth hoping and striving for.
And the present?

Drrrrrrrrrrrrrrring. 20 minutes of freewriting are up. Whatever. I can hear my creativity flushing down the toilet. Fucking writing blogs and their tips.
still have no idea what I'm doing.


Posted by whatusernamedood - August 16th, 2015


It's pretty obvious now. Every other day sucks. Day two - neck injury. Day four - my eye, nose and ear go boom. Day six - xyz poisoning. I have no idea what the hell I ingested. Thank you, toilet, for bonding with me all day long in my time of need.
     I'm just wondering what could possible be next? Not the hair, not the face, please! (that's what she said)

New achievements:
 - I didn't set anything unintentionally on fire
 - my bread didn't explode

To-do list:
 - find a potion of endurance(+5) for day eight because I'm scared shitless
 - stop being a retard.
 - design perfect chewy/crunchy cookies

I've got so many ideas and I make them sound somewhat good but when I'm about to finish it off and render/export it, I fuck everything up. It's like some sort of a superpower I never knew I had. Internet gurus have all the answers, right? They are gonna show you how-to EVERYTHING just because....y'know. Pro bono. Eh.
    This is a pattern also. I get pissed and frustrated for a few days but then I come back. It's a love-hate relationship.

I am a perfectionist, but it would be nice if my stuff would sound at least decent for a start. Let's work towards that.
 


 


Posted by whatusernamedood - August 12th, 2015


THERE WERE BOARS! FIVE OF 'EM!
Big ones sent the cute, little ones for recon. They were so desperate for food and water they didn't even care about me sitting there in the yard.
So fuzzy and stripey. Me be happy now.

They even took the trash out with them. Like the whole bag. One task less on my to-do list. They obviously ain't freeloading. How can you not love them.
 


Posted by whatusernamedood - August 10th, 2015


Woke up at 3 AM. Saw a doe at 7 AM. Awesome migraine due to neck injury. Settled in location B, blech smells so much better than glue and gasoline combined. Missed a job opportunity probably, who cares when all I need is muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusic. But, hey, there's sun and stuff in here.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I got scouted! Wooo! Prepare yourself, Newgrounds.

edit: there are no boars, yet.


Posted by whatusernamedood - August 6th, 2015


Yeah, I know they're not the "real thing". But I don't care. I'm crying tears of joy, this is so awesome. The only other thing that makes me joyfully cry is almost raw steak(with some butter'n'herbs and maybe chips). But these big, fat, throbbing ('cause of the bass, of course) speakers.... I love you.

My tracks lack hi-end. The cymbals are a disaster. I could very possibly get better results with micing amp feedback and slicing it into samples. Oh....synthesis, right? I could synthesise stuff! That's the point of digital audio anyway, riiiight?

Who gives a damn. Speakers. <3


Posted by whatusernamedood - August 5th, 2015


If I finish my stuff; then I need to make new stuff; or else I'm not productive.
But if I do finish my stuff, will the stuff I make later on be any good?
Like, will I run out of imaginary "juice" or skill or someting? It pretty hard to finish stuff and actually show it to the public if I have no idea whether it could be ... better. Looking back, there's been some huge improvement. But currently it's climbing this annyoing exponential curve. Like nothing's really happening.
What if this is the best it can get? And what if /this/ won't do? What if "best" is not good enough?

But it's the idea that matters, right? I guess everyone listened/watched/consumed something shittily executed just because of the idea and not the shiny stuff. And then revamp came and it was just all just *sploosh*.

"Ideas are cheap", eh?

My thoughts are so cohesive - I'm thinking about becoming a stand-up comician. Comedy guy. Comedian, yes. Comedian. Transitions are for pussies.

Will I do stuff and upload it to newgrounds? I have no idea. Why would anyone care? Why do I care? I really don't know. Because it might be just cool.

Cool. Bring it.


Posted by whatusernamedood - August 1st, 2015


I thought music was enough.

Like, all I have to do or be is a musician. Forever.
I don't really know why it seems "so easy" to me. Maybe it just comes naturally to me after all these years so I don't consider it to be hard work - accordion, trumpet, piano, guitar, vocals, bass - for over ten years; so many different genres I've listened to; all the books I've red.
I'm not saying technicalities of actually making it into a real sound are "easy".
That's a constant challenge and I love it.
But, maybe, I should broaden my abilities. I don't feel like I should be stuck with music only.
Some ideas are just too big to be depicted via sound only. I really want to tell stories as accurately as possible.

 

Maybe becoming a "jack-of-all-trades" is the way to go.

I've always "painted" stuff in my head while I was singing or playing. Could it be possible for me to start all over again with visual stuff? Imagine that. Wow. Like a cute little puzzle, fitting the story and the music and the eye candy together.

 

And what for?

Well, I've got this lil' project. The music is already there(like always), basic plot is almost done (no colour though), I've got something like a storyboard in my head and I would really love to see it come to life. I think I'm probably crazy, but I'd like to make it all from the characters' perspectives. To see everything like they do. I never really liked the omnipresent narrator/camera.


Mind over matter?

Maybe I, a total retard for drawing, will actually make it. Illustrator, Photoshop, GIMP, Sony Vegas, Blender, Flash animator, action script - I have no idea where to start.
I think Fireworks is dead. I liked that program.
I really hope this is not cock and ball torture like other visualguys say, at least I got that impression. What could possibly go wrong with drawing and animating stuff?


Mark the time and date. I'm actually confident about something.