When you're feeling lost, retrace your steps, come back to where you came from, remind yourself of why did you take the journey in the first place.
I love music so I do music. At first I played it, but it's a pretty narrow perspective.
To have a better overview, you need to change the seats from "performer" to "listener".
So I started recording stuff with my guitar directly through an amp and I liked it very much. I adored it, began hating all the "other music" and thought, arrogantly, "I'm gonna make my own stuff because everything else sucks".
Then a pretty punch to the face came. It was called "technical stuff". So, there is constant noise because fuck you, Tesla; EQ, volume, panning and a shitload of DAWs and plug-ins...I often get lost in research but that's not the point.
I need to make music. That's all. (probably not gonna do shieeeeeeeeet)
But why? hee hee hee.

Why are drummers so rare, I have no idea. Everyone and his mother can "sing"; and "play" guitar. Eh, I hoped it would be fun, y'know, a band of retards playing a wide variety of crappy music just for shits and giggles.

They say the first step is "acceptance". I know I have a problem. That's step one. But I'm not so keen on solving it or doing anything about it. I think that just knowing it's there is enough. I'm proud of my step one achievement and it's not gonna change until I actually know about how should I continue.