My god, I suck. Oh, how I fucking suck, it's unimaginable. And it's not a recent kind of a thing. I've been myself for a long time. But I think I've figured it out, finally.

Weltschmerz? That shit was terrible. 

Growing up? Fuck, man. I'm still in beta, though.

From now on, it's gonna change. I mean everything changes and nothing stays the same forever but you get the point.

I wanted to say : 

My retarded frame of reference will be recalibrated.

I will stop being a lazy fuck. Life sucks dicks but you gotta do something with it.

I gotta get #BeachReady, starting now, because I'm fucking fat, weak and saggy. Maybe start #SelfieWhoring once in shape.

No "adult" advice shall be taken seriously from now on. Fuck yall. You're way too old and your lives are yours only. I ain't seein' any of yall leading a glorious dickwad hobo bohemian lifestyle I wanna.

I'm not going to even try at "being successfull" and "having a real career" until I'm 35 because no one gives a shit about me. Except for gay people, mother-types of women and babies. They like me a lot.
So, bring on the shittiest of the shittest jobs.
: unlock secret medal - find a gay employer or an HR baby.

So I've gotta make 'em short and attainable. And I also have to put one that's "impossible" and long-term, so :

Put out a worldwide popular, commercially successfull album in 2018.

Whew. This should kinda make sense of it all but whom am I kidding. Life is meaningless. I have no idea. I dunno what I wanna do. I guess that's the "fun" of it. Like spending 6 hours in Skyrim leveling random shit without any guidance only to be killed by a mountain and/or a giant and/or a band of mercs.
Only in this case, you waste years upon years with no save/reload mechanics and your play time is completely RNG.

Yessssssss, maybe I need a mentor. JEDI MASTER, SENPAI, PLIX, NOTICE ME, I'M CLUELESS, WTF IS LIFE, TEACH ME THE WAY OF THE DARK SIDE, IMMA TRAILER WHITE TRASH WITH  IQ 130 (ALLEGEDLY) WHO FUCKED EVERYTHING UP. (and proudly doing so still)

HORIZONTAL LINES, HYPE!

STAY PISSED, GRASSHOPPERS! LIFE SUCKS! <3

Not fishing for compliments or anything. I just don't understand why I can't accept my suckiness. It's like someone implanted "ur da shit" in my brain. I've gotta work on myself. Don't know why. But I can feel the calling. Or maybe I'm not supposed to "be better". Maybe "this" is "it".
"Is *this* the best you've got?" - May be, bitch. 
Whatever.

Completely sidetracked: I joined the NGASS and I delivered the track. It was fucking horrible. Plans are made to make it less horrible but I'm in over my head in that case. I've got shitty soundfonts and libraries and my technique sucks overall. I'm taking the slow, iterative approach but yeah. It's gonna take a while.