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Entry #22

{free shitwriting} Ten Reasons Why Plants are Interesting! #7 Will SHOCK* You and Tak...

2016-08-24 09:20:50 by whatusernamedood

* - [in the title] - I truly meant "reevaluate how you spend your time on ze Intranetz"
** - I don't think post subject has character limit. I cut the words at the end for shits and giggles. Also laziness.

I don't quite see the point. I'm writing pure bullshit and slapping #freewriting on it.
I am producing words, strings, sentences but .... bleh. Just bleh.
"Don't give 'em real, give 'em interesting."
"Take any time of the day, every day, and dedicate it to writing down whatever comes to mind."
Okay, check. I'm doing that. But I'd like something more....concrete.

Once upon a time, there was a flower. It grew, it blossomed, spread its seed, wilted and died. The end.

Where? In the field. Wait. In a pot. Cool! Where exactly? On my windowsill. Nice. But, who is "me"? Who cares, like really, can I even, like? Damn. On her windowsill. There we go. Who is "she"? Who cares. It's a girl, everyone likes girls. Let's leave it to readers' imagination. That's brilliant! I don't have to write anything about her then. Woo-hoo!
But, what kind of flower was it? Who cares. Leave it to readers' imagination. Wow, "lazy writer achievement unlocked". I like this.

Once upon a time, there was a flower. It grew in a pot, on her windowsill. It blossomed, spread its seed, wilted and died. The end.

I guess flower's day to day was: wake up at sunrise(aka curtainswipe), absorb water through capillary action(if watered), eat and try to pump out some buds/flowers/seed. Okay. Now, I have to make it simpler because I know I love to complicate stuff. At curtainswipe, it ate and drank and dreamt of flowers.Neato! I personified that thingy. It almost feels real! Why? I dunno. Anthropocentrism. Or its desires sound real-er.
A flower pot is just a flower pot but I guess it would be significant to the flower so..... is it plastic? Hmmm. Maybe *she* took pottery clases and made one herself! Oh, well, is the flower special to her somehow? Was it a gift? Is she seriously good at pottery? Is it embroidered or painted or shaped like a pinapple ? There we go.

Once upon a time, there was a plant. On her windowsill it grew - in a clay pot shaped like a pineapple. At curtainswipe, it ate and drank. At curtainmatch [swipe vs match, omg I'm so hip] it dreamt of flowers. Eventually, it wilted and died. The end.

Hey! I said plant! So no one has any idea what will the flowers look like. Pure genius.
Meaning - flowers are an important part of the story. That is the end goal. Desires blossoming to fruition [pun or not?].[extremely tryhard bad bad bad pun]. Anywaysies. Let's not digress.
If it just grew flowers and died, that would be "easy". How do I make it "interesting"? Oh, well, let's do it by the book, shall we?

- Morning. Tired. So tired. I really hope I'm not wilti-
--- Don't say that! We are beautiful and we'll always be!
- Awh, shut up. You're the one who's always pushing to be closer to the sun. Did you overextend? Again !? Maybe that's why we're tired.
--- It's not true! How could you say that? I'm not selfish, I would neve-
- Yada-yada-yada-yaaaaaa. Tired anyway. Did she forget to water us perhaps ?
--- N-no.
- Then what could it be? Ooooooh.
--- What? 
- ....
--- What is it? Tell me! Pleeeeeeeease?
- ....
--- TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME

- Oh, we're gonna be even more beautiful it seems.
--- ERMEGHERD REALLY? HOW?
- Looky-loo. We're budding.
--- Oh no, we're gonna die! My life is over! OUR life is over! 
- No biggie, it's just how it is.
--- Do you even know what budding does to a plant? I've heard stories. Googled it even. Seen Tumblr pics of others. It's TERRIBLE(U).


 


Dear gods, what have I done. What am I doing with my life. Well, time is up. Yaaay.
"Next up:"
>WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE WILL BE FLOWERS?<
>*intense watering sounds*<
*even more intense bumper music*
>HEY! HEY, LADY, YOU GONNA WATER ME OR WHAT?
"Stay tuned for even more exciting dialogue with "Secret life of Plants"."

As intriguing as watching the paint drying.

Byesies :*

 


Comments

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Agitat0rAgitat0r

2016-08-25 20:06:42

10 reason why plants are trippy. you won't believe in number 5.

whatusernamedood responds:

Why is 7-11 closed for redecoration?
Because 420 blazed it.
Ha.